
Dear Friends:
For many years I have suffered great distress at the thought of all the unwanted and orphaned fruitcakes in the world. In my opinion fruitcake is the most delicious confection ever created by man or womankind, the very acme of culinary art, and the cynosure of the dessert tray. And it grieves me to witness how they are demeaned, defamed, derided, degraded, deprecated, denigrated, disparaged, mocked, maligned, ridiculed, belittled, vilified, scorned, and openly scoffed at.
Every holiday season hundreds, thousands, and perhaps even
millions of fruitcakes are thoughtlessly exchanged as unwanted gifts, only to languish in pantries, unwrapped and left to gather mold; or, even worse, trotted out and paraded as the butt of jokes, regifted to bosses or other enemies, set on fire, thrown through windows, used as doorstops, and abused in countless other ways.
So, to remedy this sad state of affairs, I am announcing today the creation of
The Fruitcake Project. The Fruitcake Project is dedicated to rescuing all unwanted holiday fruitcakes throughout our Nation and the World. My appeal is to all fruitcake haters: If you receive unwanted fruitcakes as gifts, PLEASE do not abuse them. SEND THEM TO ME at this address:
Neil Dugas
11 Jay Street #2
Cambridge, MA 02139
I am making this personal appeal as a fruititarian gesture to rescue all orphaned and neglected fruitcakes. And, as proof of my total sincerity, I am making this pledge:
I PROMISE PERSONALLY TO EAT EVERY FRUITCAKE RECOVERED THROUGH THIS DONATION EFFORT.For my friends in the British Isles,
The Fruitcake Project embraces plum pudding, with or without Nesselrode sauce, and also the elusive figgy pudding. Any of these unwanted cakes and puddings are welcome to find safe haven under
The Fruitcake Project umbrella.
The mission of
The Fruitcake Project will extend through the holiday season to Epiphany 2010, after which a moratorium on fruitcake recovery efforts will be observed until the success of this initial season can be evaluated and medical attention received, if necessary.
Thank you so much for your participation in
The Fruitcake Project.
Sincerely,
Neil Dugas, Founder and Director
The Fruitcake Project
Saving the world one fruitcake at a time