neild

Hey folks, remember Harry & David, those lovable guys who brought you the Fruit of the Month Club? With those delicious, sweet, succulent Royal Riviera® pears so big and juicy, you eat them with a spoon® (yes, even the tag line is a registered trademark)? [And if that isn't the most artificial-looking picture of pear juice (like, it looks like molded plastic or something?), I don't know what is!]


Well, guess what, those two fruity guys now have fruitcake! Yes! ( Just look! )

Dear Friends:

For many years I have suffered great distress at the thought of all the unwanted and orphaned fruitcakes in the world. In my opinion fruitcake is the most delicious confection ever created by man or womankind, the very acme of culinary art, and the cynosure of the dessert tray. And it grieves me to witness how they are demeaned, defamed, derided, degraded, deprecated, denigrated, disparaged, mocked, maligned, ridiculed, belittled, vilified, scorned, and openly scoffed at.

Every holiday season hundreds, thousands, and perhaps even millions of fruitcakes are thoughtlessly exchanged as unwanted gifts, only to languish in pantries, unwrapped and left to gather mold; or, even worse, trotted out and paraded as the butt of jokes, regifted to bosses or other enemies, set on fire, thrown through windows, used as doorstops, and abused in countless other ways.

So, to remedy this sad state of affairs, I am announcing today the creation of The Fruitcake Project. The Fruitcake Project is dedicated to rescuing all unwanted holiday fruitcakes throughout our Nation and the World. My appeal is to all fruitcake haters: If you receive unwanted fruitcakes as gifts, PLEASE do not abuse them. SEND THEM TO ME at this address:

Neil Dugas
11 Jay Street #2
Cambridge, MA 02139

I am making this personal appeal as a fruititarian gesture to rescue all orphaned and neglected fruitcakes. And, as proof of my total sincerity, I am making this pledge:

I PROMISE PERSONALLY TO EAT EVERY FRUITCAKE RECOVERED THROUGH THIS DONATION EFFORT.

For my friends in the British Isles, The Fruitcake Project embraces plum pudding, with or without Nesselrode sauce, and also the elusive figgy pudding. Any of these unwanted cakes and puddings are welcome to find safe haven under The Fruitcake Project umbrella.

The mission of The Fruitcake Project will extend through the holiday season to Epiphany 2010, after which a moratorium on fruitcake recovery efforts will be observed until the success of this initial season can be evaluated and medical attention received, if necessary.

Thank you so much for your participation in The Fruitcake Project.

Sincerely,
Neil Dugas, Founder and Director
The Fruitcake Project
Saving the world one fruitcake at a time

While I was on the treadmill at the gym this morning I was daydreaming about Thanksgivings past, and I remembered about five years ago I was playing the organ at a Congregational church somewhere in the Boston area, I honestly can't recall exactly where or when, but I'm sure it was the Sunday before Thanksgiving, so "thanksgiving" was the topic of the day.

In the Congregational churches, after the Time for Sharing Joys and Concerns, they often have a Children's Sermon (if there are enough children to warrant it), so this was the perfect opportunity to get the little boys and girls to say what they thought Thanksgiving was all about. The minister (a lady, as is more common than not nowadays, at least in these parts), quizzed the children about what they were thankful for.

"For food," one little girl immediately responded.

"We thank God for good food, that's right," Lady Minister said encouragingly.

"For my parents," said another little girl dutifully.

"We thank God for loving parents," Lady Minister echoed.

Then a little boy said, "I thank God" ... and he paused a moment ... "because I'm Italian!"

Shrieks of laughter erupted from the staid congregation. I couldn't see the little boy, so I couldn't tell if he was pleased with himself or embarrassed for having provoked such a dramatic response to his unselfconscious remark.

Anyway, it was a memorable moment. It was just so, so dimple-tweakingly cute in a way that only little boys can be.

Allora, felice ringraziamento a tutti!

-neil d.

So I read a tabloid interview with Twilo star Kellan Lutz where he talked about going to the gym and stuff. The 24-year-old North Dakota native says that his trick to keeping focused is to make a game out of it. He brings a deck of cards with him to the gym, and on every card he writes a different exercise. Then he shuffles the deck and deals a hand, and whatever set of exercises comes up is his workout for the day. He finds that the capricious randomness of it makes it fun and keeps him motivated.

[He also talked about being on a film shoot in Africa and had no weights to work out with, so he used 200-pound rocks! How Alley Oop is that? The man is a paragon of bench pressing for a reason!]

I was SO FASCINATED by this revelation that I told my trainer about it, which prompted a whole discussion about what exercises I could write down on my set of cards. I am FASCINATED by this concept, FASCINATED I tell you!

And speaking of FASCINATION, did you all know that the origin of the word is the Latin fascina, which was a good luck charm that little Roman boys were given at birth. The charm was a little box which contained a replica of a penis. I guess the idea was to encourage the little boys to grow a nice big penis, much like putting decoy eggs in the roosts of a hen house encourages the hens to lay eggs. (My apologies to those who didn't grow up on a farm.)

I can't find any reference to prove this (and I am DETERMINED to find one), but I REMEMBER reading about it somewhere. I can't recall what happened to the little box, whether the boys discarded it when they reached puberty (and presumably didn't need a replica of a penis because they had a real, full-grown one), or whether it was baked in a pie and eaten, or what, BUT THIS IS A TRUE FACTOID FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW.

Those Romans, they really knew from fetishes.

On November 18, 1928, Walt Disney's first sound-synchronized animated cartoon, Steamboat Willie, starring Mickey Mouse, premiered in New York. It lasted 7 minutes and 45 seconds.



Gee, Mickey, you don't look a day over 80!

On Saturday we celebrated my friend Paul's very happy 60^th unbirthday, which was a good opportunity to take more pictures of my little friend Joplin. Take a look!

( More adorableness behind the cut! )

So today I had training with the ever-helpful and überzealous Ryan, and it was a fairly easy workout. I think he's afraid of hurting me. So after the kettle bell swings, TRX band rows, step-ups, bench presses, planks, and bosu ball balances, we concluded with my usual five minutes on the rowing machine. I put my towel on the seat, strapped my feet into the footrests and pushed off. Except that my towel jammed in the mechanism under the seat and the rowing machine came to a dead halt. Ryan tried to remove the towel, but my ass was planted too firmly on it, and it just wouldn't budge. I tried to lift myself off of the seat, but didn't have enough strength, so I toppled over onto the floor, my feet still strapped into the footrests, flailing helplessly. Ryan had to pick me up by the armpits and plant me back on the seat. Ryan is strong like ox. We laughed. Oh the hilarity and the embarrassment! I'm sure I'm the only man who ever fell off of the rowing machine no more than four inches off the ground. I certainly hope the hidden cameras at the gym didn't catch that one!

"Captain" Lou Albano was a fixture in pro wrestling for 30 years since, as part of the tag-team "The Sicilians," he won the U.S. Tag Team Championship in 1967. In the early 1970s, Albano transformed himself from a heavyweight wrestler into the brash, bombastic manager Captain Lou Albano. With a quick wit and a grating personality, Albano became wrestling's most villainous manager.

In the early 1980s, Albano appeared in Cyndi Lauper's music videos for her hit songs "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," "She Bop," and "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough." Capitalizing on his success in the music industry, Albano began appearing in television and film projects. In the late 1980s, Albano appeared in Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling, 227, Miami Vice, Brian De Palma's Wiseguys, and the 1987 wrestling movie Body Slam.

In March 1989, on Live with Regis and Kathie Lee, Albano had his trademark beard shaved on the air in order to star as the iconic video game character Mario in The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. He starred in live action segments during interludes of the Mario cartoon, as well as providing the voice of his animated counterpart.

In his heyday as a fatguy wrestler (billed height and weight: 5'10", 350 pounds), Albano was majorly hot. But during the 1990s he shed 150 pounds following a health scare. In May 2005, he suffered a heart attack but later recovered. In 2008 he released his autobiography, Often Imitated, Never Duplicated, with the foreword written by Cyndi Lauper.

Born in Rome, Italy, Albano was one of five children. Albano's brother, Carl, taught health for 32 years at Ridgewood High School in Ridgewood, New Jersey, and in his lectures often used his brother Lou as an example of the difference between crazy and unique.

I saw him wrestle in the Boston Garden once. I can't remember when that was, probably some time in the 1980s, but I remember I went JUST to see him. He died at age 76. He was a trooper.

Look who has a new varsity jacket! Thanks for the tip, Muffin Man!
( Look! )

Saw Owl City at the Lansdowne Pub, and it was a blast. MUCH more congenial than KMFDM. This is MY kind of music!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw

I think this is the funniest thing since Robot Chicken.

The Twilight Zone created and hosted by Rod Serling ran its first episode on the CBS network 50 years ago today, October 2, 1959. A.Ma.Zing.

Let's hear it for William T.G. Morton!

Hip-hip!
Hip-hip!
Hip-hip HOORAY!


Not excited yet? After everything William T.G. Morton has done for you? How soon you forget! Because it was on this day, September 30, in the year 1846 that William T.G. Morton, a Boston dentist, demonstrated publicly for the first time the use of inhaled ether as a surgical anesthetic. He performed a painless extraction of an ulcerated tooth from the merchant Eben Frost. I bet old Eben was mighty grateful!

Just two weeks later on October 16, Boston surgeon Henry Bigelow arranged for a demonstration of ether at the Massachusetts General Hospital. At this demonstration Dr. John Warren painlessly removed a tumor from the neck of a Mr. Edward Abbott. There is a monument commemerating the event in the Boston Public Garden near Arlington Street. The inscription reads:

"To commemorate the discovery that the inhaling of ether causes insensibility
to pain first proved to the world at the Mass. General Hospital in Boston
October A.D. MDCCCXLVI"

It's interesting to note that at first ether was called "Letheon" after the mythological river of Hades; those who drank from it experienced complete forgetfulness.

So, the next time you listen to the Ramones' "I Wanna Be Sedated," mumble a prayer of thanks, however incoherent, to old William T.G. Morton. He has enhanced all our lives immeasurably!

I have a BGMC performance after work today, so I came to work dressed. This is what I usually wear to church these days, instead of a suit. The blazer is a little big, but it's OK. My office has nice windows with a view of the office park and the beginnings of our splendid fall foliage.
( See me, feel me, touch me, heal me )

I saw the metal band KMFDM at the House of Blues in Kenmore Square last night, September 26, and it was an experience. This kind of music is really not to my taste. If there's no melody and no harmony, I'm really not interested. Basically, the music is all about percussion and angry lyrics, the more offensive the better. The drummer was definitely the star of the show. And I can see why he has the biceps he has. Man, did he get a workout! The band comprises five members: two vocalists, two guitarists, and the drummer. One of the singers is a chick. That makes it more interesting—it takes only one chick to balance a stage full of dudes.

Traditionally, the roots of their genre is industrial rock, but I would say they are more speed metal now. Very abrasive, oppressive, and LOUD. I had to wear earplugs. And one hour was all I could take.

But it bought a nifty t-shirt, which I will wear happily.

The opening night (September 21) audience greeted the Metropolitan Opera's new production of Tosca with resounding boos! Opera fans can be more vicious than sports fans: sometimes they are out for blood. Just goes to show you that it's not all top hats and croutons.

Who is this adorable little boy?

Yup, that's me. On the left I was age 4. And I still comb my hair exactly the same way. In the middle I'm maybe 5, and on the right I was a bit older, maybe 7 or 8. Totes adorbz, right?

Well, my birthday is September 19 and I was born in 1950, so that makes the math pretty easy to do. I put together a few pictures of myself through the years, so feel free to look, laugh, and comment!

( Read more )

Nero	Nico

Sometimes when I’m dissatisfied with my life the way it is, I take comfort in pondering the fate of Nero and Nico, two people who had little in common other than their wrong-headed aspirations.
( Read more )

Hey everybody, I have a new little friend, and his name is Joplin.

He really is little. I'd say he's about three and a half feet tall ...

( Meet Joplin! )

In-the-trenches experiences

Use in a sentence:

We not only understand the policy-level implications and challenges faced by both highway and transit agencies to integrate livability and environmental justice considerations into transportation practice, but also have in-the-trenches experiences at state, regional, and local levels to understand the importance of cross-jurisdictional collaboration to achieve outcomes.

"In-the-trenches experiences"! This ranks with "boots on the ground" as one my favorite militaristic metaphors. Who makes this stuff up?